You just have to know Rachel. She has such a little determined look about her when she wants something or wants to do something. She gets her mama's furrowed brow and sets to work. Well, we've been working on this crawling thing, but Rachel has two things working against her:
1. She has a huge head. I'm not ripping on my daughter, but her head is massive. We're talking high 90th percentile here. She's got the cure for cancer growing in there!
2. Her sister. Anytime Rachel gets on all fours and starts the rocking back and forth process, Elizabeth sits on her. Or lays in front of her. Or pushes her over. Or (my all time favorite) grabs her hands so that she falls flat on her face.
I know...poor Rachel...She can thank her sister when she's winning her multiple Olympic gold medals.
So today was the first time she got everything headed in the same direction and I was able to grab my video camera! She looked so...gratified! Until she got to the thing that she wanted and her older sister grabbed it away. Ah, onto the next challenge!
I texted Scott right away (he was in a lunch meeting) and his response was "Aren't you glad that you're home to be able to witness her firsts?" And I am. Being home with the girls all day can be stressful...and hard, and lonely all wrapped up into one. There are days of limited adult conversation and the hours are long. I hate that there are times that I jump into the self-pity pool with both feet - and like anytime the devil can get a foothold, he works on my mind until I'm so down in the dumps that my husband comes home to a cranky wife.
But let me tell you, THE BLESSINGS FAR OUT-WEIGH ANYTHING BAD! I am so thankful for my husband who works the long hours so that I can stay home and see my kids. I love the hugs from Elizabeth when she gets up from her nap and the fact that I can watch Rachel change every day. I cherish being able to control my gag reflex when I watch my daughter disassemble her cheese sandwich to eat the cheese first and then mash together the bread with mayo and stuff it all in her mouth. Even the whole potty training fiasco...I know that this is a stage and she's going to go to the potty. You don't see many 6-year-olds walking around in Pampers. So my writing is mainly for comic relief and to record her adventures.
Not to get on my soapbox there, but I know a lot of moms have the same thoughts I do and go through the same trials and tribulations. I think Tonya said it best in her blog when she said (and I'm paraphrasing you, my friend) that she felt justified in the challenges of staying at home because she was doing exactly what her Heavenly Father had called her to do. I can't tell you how many times I've been comforted by that thought when things have gotten hard. And it is even harder when you are a working mom - because then you have GUILT! When I was teaching, I would skip my workout (even though the gym was just down the road from school) because I would feel guilty about taking any more time away from Elizabeth. And just this morning, Scott had to come home because he forgot his phone and ended up sitting down and reading Elizabeth's Elmo book to her (for the millionth time) because he just couldn't resist the "Dada...read?" she threw out at him.
I guess the trick is just to stay continually thankful. Thankful to get to witness the "firsts." Thankful for the job that puts food on the table. Thankful to have the ability to cook the food that goes on the table. Thankful for healthy, growing, curious kids. Thankful for a spouse that is loving and appreciative. And thankful for friends who read my ramblings. :)
Thank you, Lord for my husband. Thank you for the sacrifices he makes every day to get up and go to work and provide for us. I know he misses his family when he's away. Thank you for my healthy and beautiful and MOBILE children. Please protect them as they continue to grow and help me not to take a second for granted. Amen.