Failed Inspections and Personal Victories

I remember reading a devotional that FCA put out by John Wooden years ago and he was talking about dealing with the passing of his wife.  The two had been still very much in love after a long marriage and it had been hard on him when she died.  I remember him quoting James 1:2-3 (I love James...he's my favorite):  Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  And he talked about how he had to make himself go through life (even after her death) and continue to "count it all joy."

I was coaching at the time and the thought stuck with me...to count it all joy.  All the turmoil and bumps and bruises along the way.  

Well, it's funny how God reminds you of things before you really need them because we just finished Lysa TerKeurst's Unglued in our women's Bible study (which is FANTASTIC, if you're looking for a good book) and she talked about thoughts to help you take on situations with more grace.  The statement that stuck with me was something like If this is the worst thing that happens today, then it will still be a pretty good day.  

Again, I was reminded of the Wooden lesson and smiled at the similarities and preceded to dive head first into a home renovation.  

Which you know.

What you don't know?  Today, we failed the foundation inspection.

I know...but first let me back up.

Monday, we had tornado and flood warnings.  Wanna know what showed up at our house?  

The wood.  For our addition.  (And here, I get into My Cousin Vinny mode...if you look trew dat dirty screen, past all dos leaves and over da fence, what do you see?)

The guy attempted two trips into the back yard before the mud was too deep for him to get through.  (Cue the major divots in our yard.  Right beside the attractive dumpster.  There's a porta potty on the other side of the dumpster too...our neighbors love us.)

So he unloaded the rest in the front yard.  The boy was thrilled.

On Tuesday, I took a picture of the wood stacked out front.  Underneath the gutter.

More wood. Can you see the broken pieces?

So Tuesday, another guy came out and put this plate on the top of the block wall and we felt that we were ready for inspection.

Except we weren't.

Today, the inspector came out and several things were wrong.  We couldn't frame tomorrow, like we had hoped.  The foundation needed to be fixed.  The wood would have to stay in the yard.

Oh my, I had myself quite the pity party.

And then I remembered.  And so I said to myself, "If this is the worst thing that happens today, then it's still a pretty good day."

And it was.  The contractors addressed a major issue today by waterproofing the foundation.

And then the block company will come back out to repair the rest tomorrow.  The remainder of today?  It was gorgeous.  The weather was perfect.  I made dinner and my children had moments of sanity.  My husband came home a little early from work, our SC house that's for sale had a scheduled viewing, and I got to talk to some good friends on the phone.

It wasn't until I was doing dishes tonight that I thought, "I could have been so bent out of shape over the failed inspection that I would have missed the rest of the good of today.  Oh, thank you Lord for that silly sentence that can turn my brain around so quickly."

Oh, and the fact that the inspector was making sure that our foundation was of quality work for our new addition.  Yes, that really was a good thing too...you know, if you're counting it all joy.  ;)

Have a great night, my friends.

Small Victories with the Little People

As sweet as Elizabeth can be, she's not much of a hugger.

Cuddling and sneaking a squeeze is just not her thing.  In fact, even 'I love you's' are tough to get out of her.  Now, this is not the case for the other two, who race and push each other down to get to my lap as soon as I take a seat anywhere in the house.  Most mornings find me covered in Rachel and Caleb, with Elizabeth on the edge of the love seat.  

That is her perch, especially after I (stupidly) taught her how to use the remote.

But that's another story.

Anyway, I have begged my child to come lay with me, cuddle with her mama, give me a hug...you get it...and sometimes she will...begrudgingly.

Now there have been random times that she's giving me glimpses past her tough exterior.  Like about a month ago, when we were driving back from Wheeling, WV.  We were about 6 hours into the trip and Caleb and Rachel (who both sit in the middle captain chairs of the van) were beginning to lose it.  So I started playing "this little piggie" with their toes, making the little one go whee whee whee all the way up to their very ticklish necks.  

Elizabeth was watching a movie and seemed to have cared less.

So I couldn't figure out why she was crying when we stopped for lunch.  As she was bawling in my arms, I finally got out of her, "BUT I WANT TO DO THE LITTLE PIGGIES!!"

Guilt flooded me.  "Oh honey!  I'm so sorry!  I didn't get to do the piggies with you, did I?"  And we went to our seats and made the little piggies race up her neck right in the middle of McDonalds.

Flash forward to yesterday.

We had just been having a day of rumbles between Elizabeth Rose and myself.  Her personality is strong and we're at the stage that she will just flat-out ignore me if she doesn't want to do what she's been asked to do...which of course, lights a fire under me faster than gasoline.  We argued about which leotard to wear to gymnastics.  We argued about picking up the major pony fort she had constructed during nap time.  We argued over her not being able to light candles by herself (true story...she had put the play chair on the hearth in order to reach the lighter on the mantle...didn't see THAT ONE coming).

And the problem with the oldest being defiant is that the other two tend to follow right along suit.  So it was just one of those days that I felt like all I did was discipline and harp and lay down rules and those just aren't that fun or rewarding.  By the time Scott got home, I was spent.  And I felt stupid being spent as a stay at home mom because duh, I STAYED AT HOME, but spent I was.  

So dinner rolled around and, as I watched my children push the healthy food around their plate and moan and groan about the frittata I had fixed that had "yucky steak" in it, I felt myself sink lower and lower.  Just the day before, I had heard a devotional on finding Jesus in our every day chores, to look for Him when things were mundane or hard raising our little people.  But, for the life of me, I couldn't see Him.  

Deciding that she was finished, Elizabeth hopped up from her seat and ran into the living room.  Amazingly, she came back willingly when we asked her to clear her dishes and then the rest of the table (she enjoys most chores that don't involve picking up toys).  Then, when she came back into the dining room from her first load, it happened.

She hugged me.  

She stopped, put her arms around me and hugged me for a good 20 seconds.

Within the first 10, I was bawling my eyes out.  

She looked up at me, shocked.  "Mama!  Why are you crying?"

And in that moment, I decided to be honest with her.  "Oh honey," I sniffed.  "Sometimes I'm just not sure you love me at all."

She hugged me tighter.  "Well of course I do," she giggled.  "You're the best mama I have!"  (Oh Jesus...THERE you were!)

And with that, she cleared the rest of the table, each time stopping to give me a quick squeeze.  Scott reached across our ketchup covered son to squeeze my hand and we both paused in the brief minute of peace in the house.  

Well, until bath time...

Happy Wednesday, friends!

From Messes to S's...

Lately, I've been dealing with control issues.

Or a lack of control issues, if you might.

My children run around crazy, my eyebrows are out of control and my house is a wreck.  And while the "get it together sister" part of me is yearning to tighten the reigns and go to all ends to have control, the "they're only young once" other part of me is urging myself to enjoy the journey.  

All this being said, I've been in a mass cleaning and purging stage while I move our belongings back in from the garage, where they were stored as the floors were getting done.  Boxes of items we don't need have been sent to the thrift store and I've actually been thankful for the process because I don't think it would have otherwise gotten done.  

When they replaced the floors, they had to tear out the subfloor, leaving a thick layer of dust on anything standing - blinds, curtains, baseboards, pictures left on the walls, etc.  The only reason why I'm telling you this is to paint the picture that I've kind of been on a cleaning frenzy around this joint.

So you can imagine my disbelief when I walked into the entryway yesterday and discovered writing on the wall.  In crayon.  Blue crayon.

Now, let me pause again and tell you that all of my children are smack on the edge of big developmental stages.  Caleb is trying with all his might to talk.  Elizabeth is beginning to go from rebellious to helpful and want responsibility.  And Rachel is exploding in creativity.  She really has started to color well and is wanting to make letters randomly.  

Rachel, more than the others, is very sensory driven.  She clings to a blankie with soft edges, especially when she's upset.  She is the only one that bites her nails and toe nails (which both grosses me out and makes me jealous of her flexibility).  And lately, she's taken to picking all the leather off our couch, which drives us crazy but no one's been able to catch her in the act yet.  

However, this was all very far from my mind when I was trying desperately to get my house back together yesterday around 5 p.m.  It had been a long day and the kids were running crazy around the house, since it was too cool to go outside with their drippy noses.  Dinner was on the stove and I knew Scott would be on his way home soon.  I had wiped down surfaces, dusted the living room and was just finishing up the floors when I saw the brand new art work on the wall... in blue.  

I knew it was Rachel, as we had already been down this road with Elizabeth, and I began to blow my top at my three-year-old.  Of course, she denied it and cowered under her blanket and I felt all my control issues bubble to the surface.  

Your house never looks put together.  You're just not a good homemaker.

Your children can't follow the rules.  You're just not a good mom.

Your husband is going to think you have no control of your house.  You're just not a good wife.

and even

You're taking out your frustrations on your three-year-old!!  You really have no self-control.

And while the true battle of control was raging inside me, Elizabeth walked up behind me.

"Mom!!  Look!!  Rachel made an S!!"

And she had.  There in the middle of the "art" was a perfectly scrawled S...in blue crayon...in my entrance way.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12:9  

I pulled Rachel on my lap and apologized for getting upset and asked her if she would make all her letters on paper so that I could keep them forever.  Her tears dried up in an instant as she jumped down and ran off to do just that.  And once again, I was thankful for pint-sized grace that forgives me quicker than I deserve.   I was thankful for Elizabeth's sweet heart and gentle reminder of what was really important.  I was thankful even for my control issues because they keep me looking to the One who is so much stronger and has it all together so that I don't have to. 

And I was also thankful for the big box of Magic Erasers that was on sale last month at Costco...

Happy Thursday, friends!

 

Heaven is Real

I don't have too many opportunities to call Elizabeth an angel (ha!).  Maybe it was her singing or the message or maybe it was just the sun angle and her fairy wings, but this took my breath away.

Happy Wednesday!

Just Breathe...

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control.  Against such things there is no law.  Galations 5:22

This was the crux of our moms Bible study this week.  We talked about how to cultivate these qualities into our homes - things that we can do to build our little people up to have these characteristics.  

The discussion should have empowered me.  I should have left on cloud nine, ready to take over my home and mold my children.  But in reality, I felt even more defeated.

Because I very rarely feel like this.  

Let me go into detail.

We have had issues with Elizabeth getting up around 5 a.m. and coming downstairs to spend an hour by herself doing whatever she wants until we get up.  She turns on every light in the house and loves to get into the pantry to snack on things she knows she's not allowed to have.  Yesterday, I found her with a pack of the real expensive organic baby yogurt bites and almost had a coronary.  

So we got her one of those alarm clocks that changes colors when she's allowed to get up and it has worked really well.  So at 6 o'clock on the nose, she walks in our room and announces, "The clock is green, Mom!!"  Now, I would be tempted to drift back to sleep except for the sound of a dining room chair being scooted across my kitchen floor in order to assist her to get crayons, Play-doh, or scissors (ha!). 

Caleb gets up five minutes later; Rachel 10 minutes. My day starts lecturing, correcting, disciplining.  

Don't lay on your brother.

Please go back to bed if you're going to cry.

I swear, I will start breakfast in a minute.

No, you cannot go outside.  It's cold and you have pj's on. 

Breakfast is a blur of demands and whines and a baby banging on his high chair for attention.  I make Elizabeth's lunch for preschool, Scott's snacks for work and chug my shake and a second cup of coffee.  In the background, I crank the praise and worship Pandora station because I tend to be more patient when I can at least hear positive music.  

Which proved a challenge this morning when the girls ran downstairs waving the LaLaLoopsy dolls they had found...in a box...in my closet...which had been intended for Christmas.  *breathe*

The dolls went on the dining room table and the process of begging/bribing/threatening to get ready for the day got underway.  Rachel has two outfits she is willing to wear without a fit.  Elizabeth has to run around naked at least 20 minutes before getting dressed and Caleb enjoys pulling out and chewing on the girls' nastiest shoes.  

Need the Reader's Digest of the rest of the morning?

Rachel picked up all the toys in the den (the first time I asked!) and got her doll unwrapped and was thrilled.

Elizabeth refused to make her bed and did not get her doll.

Rachel enjoyed teasing her big sister with her doll and Elizabeth threw a tantrum to try to get hers.

Caleb came crawling up to me chewing on something.  It was dog hair.

My friend called as I was pulling out of the driveway and I was so excited to talk to another adult that I drove right past the entrance to preschool.

Another Elizabeth tantrum.

Finally got her dropped off and made it to BodyPump class in time to get an awesome workout.

In the middle of shoulders, I realized I had left the dogs outside with no water...and had fed them leftover, salty pork for breakfast.

Picking up the kids, did I know that Caleb only had one sock on when I dropped them off?  Oh, and Rachel's hungry.  Check that:  starving.

Loading up the little two, I saw Elizabeth's drink still in my bag.  I had forgotten to leave it.

Back to preschool.  Unload two kids.  Drop off drink.  Reload two kids.

Rachel crying, "But I thought you said we were going to Taaaaarrrrgeeettttt."

Seriously.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control.  Against such things there is no law.  Galations 5:22

You know the best part of this verse for me?  These are the fruit of the SPIRIT.  Not ANNIE.  It is through HIM, by HIM, that these things are revealed.  Although, during the times that my voice is raised and the house is a blur of chaos around me, I wonder...  

And just when I feel like I am going to lose it completely, He gives me glimpses of hope.

Today, when I dropped off Elizabeth, I clued her teacher in on our morning a bit and warned her of the mood.  "Oh, I would never believe that of your little girl," she said.  "She is just the most respectful and precious thing with the sweetest heart.  She always does everything I ask and is kind to others."

Funny how just a slight word of encouragement can reset you and make you feel like maybe you're doing something right after all and revealing the fruit of the Spirit, even if you don't think you are.  One day, I will laugh at all this...heck, I'll laugh about it tonight when they're in bed.  But today, I just work to make it through.

And finally today, after thinking all week on this verse, I accepted the grace that I don't have to be perfect...because HE is.  I was putting some sort of (definitely) unrealistic expectation on myself to achieve these things when I actually have to achieve nothing...I just have to live through Him.

Thank God.

And now, Rachel is calling from the potty and Caleb is yelling for me to get him from his crib.  Thanks for letting me vent, my friends. 

There IS (good) life out there!

Why, oh why do I get a second wind at 8:30 p.m.??

Scott is out of town and I finally got the kids to bed, the trash to the curb and the kitchen cleaned up and JUST when I think I should head upstairs and hit the hay myself, I get into something that keeps me up until 11.  

So tonight, you are the winner and I just have to tell you about two stupendous shopping experiences I had this weekend in the midst of small child chaos that is proof to me that there indeed are WONDERFUL people out there among us.

Our weather is getting cooler, as I'm sure yours is too, so on Friday, I told Elizabeth that she needed to wear long sleeves and long pants to preschool.  Well FOR ONCE she listened and, before I knew it, in she marched with a shirt so short that you could see her belly.  

Trying not to trounce her accomplishment of 1. picking out her own outfit and 2. getting dressed the first time asked, we went in search of something that would keep her belly warm since it was cold outside that morning.  Now, if you know me at all, you know that I am cheap thrifty and do most of my children's shopping at consignment sales.  I see no point in paying full price until they stop getting spaghetti sauce up one side and grass stains down the other.  Therefore, I should have been prepared for this but apparently, I was brain dead during my last shopping trip and failed to realize that my oldest child might grow another size and not be able to wear most of the same clothes she did last year.  *sigh and forehead slap*

No big deal, I thought, and took the whole crew to Once Upon a Child (a local consignment store) after school.  I should tell you that my children call this store The Toy Store because they have toys set out on the sidewalk and there are a couple aisles of books and toys that they love to peruse through.  So in we tromped, Caleb strapped to my chest facing out and Elizabeth and Rachel holding each hand.  We choose several tops and outfits that Elizabeth said she'd wear and then took a walk through the toys and books to see if there were any great deals (sometimes they have TAG books for super cheap).  I left the girls there while I checked out and then subsequently watched as two meltdowns occurred before my eyes when I said, "Let's go."

Elizabeth stomped her feet and told me she did not WANT to leave and Rachel crumpled into a mess on the floor, screaming.  Embarrassed and somewhat disabled with Caleb on me and hauling a large bag of clothes and the diaper bag, I got ahold of each mess of a child and made my way as fast as I could to the door.   Half way to the car, I heard a voice behind me say, "Excuse me.  I think your girls are about the same age as mine."  

I was so embarrassed by the now-flailing children I had in death grips on that I almost couldn't look the sweet woman in the eye.  But seeming to understand, she continued (probably because Caleb was grinning at her).  "I have these fall clothes that they (the store) didn't need and I'm just going to take them to Goodwill if you don't want them.  Could you use them?"  

She wouldn't take any money and proceeded to hand me a good $50 worth of clothes that would fit Rachel - all soft cotton in fun prints that she will love.  My embarrassment disappeared, replaced by a gratitude and humbleness in her actions.  She literally saved by day, and I doubt if she even realized it. 

Much like my Publix cashier tonight at the grocery store.  

I thought I would go shopping while Elizabeth was at choir, so I once again put Caleb in the front pack and Rachel in the cart and started getting my goods.  I had quite a few coupons and a good sized list.  Luckily, the kids were agreeable, but it was the end of the day and I was tired.  And I picked a new cashier.  

Who didn't like coupons.

He took my stack and then proceeded to spread them out in front of him.

"How many toothpastes did you get?  How about tissues?  How many of those?"

I was putting my list back in my bag when I noticed the note, written in Sharpie and circled twice at the top to get dog food.  I was stuck.  I had not gotten dog food. Did I go out to the car and load up the groceries and come back in for it?  Do I come back out tomorrow with all three kids and get it?  

So putting on as sweet a face as you can with a six month old drooling in front of you, I asked the cashier if I could just run back and get the dog food while he was figuring out my coupons.  

Of course he said "of course" because it's Publix and they are wonderful so I raced back and hossed the 20 lb bag of Purina onto the bottom of the cart.  (Why yes, with a baby on my chest...one of the many reasons I lift weights...ha!)  Making my way back to the lane, the manager had stopped three ladies from coming into line so I could come back up.  The bagger grabbed the bag before I could bend over and scanned it and the cashier simply smiled as I handed him an additional coupon for the dog food.  

Getting in the car, I was so thankful that they made a stressful situation easy by not criticizing and handling me with love.  I don't even know if they realized how much it meant - in fact, I'm sure the guy is complaining to his wife right now about the crazy, frazzled woman with the million coupons and the little girl with cookie remnants all over her face.  Which once again reminds me, how big a difference can I make by simply being kind and doing something little for someone...or anyone?

I would love to hear your stories of others doing little things for you that made a difference in your day.  Doesn't that feel amazing?  Trying to think of good things?  Share away!

Have a good night!

Distractions

Nothing like the holidays to spur a post on distractions.  It seems like these days, everyone and everything is pulling at me:  cards to address, cookies to make, presents to purchase and wrap, and...oh yeah...then there are the everyday chores with my kids and household.

The holidays also offer up the perfect stirring in our souls to do good for others - whether that's volunteering, writing a note, sending a gift or simply making a phone call.  But do you ever find yourself on the way to do the very good deed that's been on your mind when...

the phone rings...

your child has a dirty diaper...

the toilet overflows...

the doorbell rings...

you just check Facebook real quick...

Distractions.

And after you get done with whatever the distracting task was, you've suddenly lost your motivation to do the good deed or whatever positive thing you set out to do in the first place.  Does this just happen to me?  

I'm guessing probably not.

I believe that the devil uses every opportunity to distract us from being good and he must hate Christmas time the most because almost everyone walks around with joy in their heart and good will towards most men...

And so he distracts.  Need an example?  Of course you do.  And you want to hear about my children, I'm sure.

We got in from Las Vegas yesterday - which ends up being a two hour time difference.  I am not ready to write about how horrific the flight home was with cranky, exhausted Rachel...but let me just tell you, it was bad.

So last night, Scott and I were more than thankful to put down our vacationed-out little girls by 8 p.m. and sit back and watch something mindless like National Lampoon's Christmas and relax on the couch for a bit.

We didn't complain when they slept past 8 a.m. this morning, pouring large cups of coffee to greet the day.  Rachel woke up in a foul mood and, because we attend the early church service, I think we probably both knew without talking about it that we wouldn't make it to church this morning.

And then Elizabeth came down the stairs.

"Are we going to church?  I need to go to church!  I need to see Piper!"

Piper is Elizabeth's best friend and they are in the same Sunday school class.  Piper's family and ours are perfect bookends and we do a lot of functions together - as the kids take off playing well together and the adults get along and can have a moment's peace and socialization.  

I looked at the clock.  It was 8:20 a.m.  Church started at 9:15 a.m.  

I tried rationalizing with the three-year-old.

"Honey, we slept too late to go to church.  Rachel is cranky and your daddy has a cold (stupid airplane petri dish).  We're not going to go to church today."

"Nooooooooooo!!"  she yelled.  "We have to go!  You said!  I need to see Piper!"

Ok, I DID tell her the night before that we'd go to church this morning...but I didn't count on so many...distractions.

I looked at Scott and he emptied his coffee cup in a couple gulps.  "Ok,"  he said.  "Who wants Cheerios?"

Now, I wish I could tell you that this was the only hurdle we faced all morning in going to church.  But even though our child was ready, she wasn't necessarily willing eat quickly and get dressed or brush her teeth or hustle through the process.  Oh, and Rachel wasn't quick to get out of her foul mood.  Naturally.

But 9:10 a.m. found us dressed and in the car, pulling out of our driveway.  I prayed the whole way that Piper would be there and indeed she was, and was thrilled to see our daughter walk through the Sunday School door.  

That could have been ugly.

Scott and I walked as if hungover to the sanctuary, still dealing with the whirlwind the last hour threw at us.  We had battled the distractions and just as we were empty with exhaustion from a trip and not feeling good and the stress of rushing two toddlers to get ready, we were filled with such a strong, powerful message from our preacher that the events of the morning washed away.

You know the messages that seem just aimed at you?  The ones that hit home and keep your attention?  This was one of those:  full of the message of John, the story of the birth of our savior,  and even with a quote from Ricky Bobby about little baby Jesus.  

Ah yes, this was one the devil really didn't want us to hear.  Like a pep talk before a big game, we both found ourselves ready for the busy week ahead and, more importantly, ready to face our children again.

The time ended up being positive for them as well and we retrieved them from their classes to find them them happy as well and we had a great rest of the day.  But how easy would it have been to just stay home?  To have let the distractions take over our day and missed out on something truly positive and important in our lives?  

Seriously, no one would have blamed us.  We would have had a great excuse.  But we would have missed out on so much.

So let me ask you, my friend:  What are your distractions?  What are the good deeds that you know you need to do...that you should do?  Maybe you have an idea and you just haven't been able to pull the trigger.  

Pull it today.  

Make the phone call.  Bake the cookies and take them to the workers at the nursery.  Buy an extra present and donate it to a family who needs it.  Buy a cup of coffee for that Salvation Army worker, ringing the bell in front of the store.  

Today, I was behind a woman with a overflowing cart in Aldi.  She had food, diapers, toys...the whole kitchen sink.  The line was long, so I was able to overhear her talking about how it was all going to a needy family.  She looked to be in her early 30's and had a young teenager helping her.  They talked about how excited the family would be.

I wonder what distractions she battled in getting there...

What is distracting you?  And if you're not sure, pray and ask...  We are promised to be provided wisdom in James and I can't help but think that this would apply.

I guarantee you the reward is great - even if you get nothing in return.  You will receive plenty of recognition - even if you don't tell anyone.  And you will inspire other people to get over their distractions and do good for others as well. 

And that, my friends, is a priceless Christmas present for sure. 

Have a wonderful week!

Praying for Opportunities to Do Good

You know, I think everyone probably blogs for different reasons.  I originally started out keeping one to update our family and friends who live far away on the girls and their progress.  It was easier for me to share pics and stories this way.  When I started Mama Wants..., I was missing coaching and talking about physical training and eventually the two kind of molded into one.

I have to tell you that I am a writer at heart and have always loved to record thoughts and stories - so this has been an outlet for that as well.  So please know that posts like this one are one of those that I am just so compelled to write because maybe SOMEONE else can identify with it.

And maybe that someone is you...who knows...

It was a couple years ago now, but I asked Scott to go to Target right after church so I could take advantage on a deal on razor blades.  I'm a big couponer, and razor blades can be pretty pricey when your husband is a full-head shaver, so he was gracious enough to take me and wait in the car with the girls while I ran in. 

Waiting in line, I was focused on getting the deal right (double checking my coupons against what I had picked up), but I couldn't help but notice the girl in front of me checking out.  She only had a few items and they weren't what I would call extravagant.  Some canned fruit, a box of mac and cheese, shampoo, deodorant...that kind of stuff.  And it wasn't fancy shampoo either, it was probably Suave or something similar.  It was obvious she was getting the necessities.  Well, the total rang up and she didn't enough money to get all of it.  So she had to do the pain-staking task of picking what was most necessary out of the necessities.  As she took her bags, I saw her get on her phone in tears.

It wasn't until I paid for the razor blades and she was already out the door that it hit me. 

You could have paid for that.  I bet it wasn't even $10.  You can afford $10.

Shame washed over me.  Why didn't I think about that sooner?  We didn't have a lot of money, but I could have picked up what she couldn't...regardless that I didn't know her.  I ran outside looking for her, but didn't see her.  I was thinking maybe I could just give her some cash to go back in to get the rest...  I was crying by the time I got in the car, telling Scott about how I didn't think quick enough...how I missed out on an opportunity to help someone who needed help.  On the way home, I prayed one of the most sincerest prayers of: Please help me recognize opportunities to give sooner.  Forgive me for being too late on that girl.

Now I tell you this not to now brag about all the times I've been able to help people since then...because I can think of numerous everyday opportunities I've missed.  And it still eats me up.  Possibly because I am surrounded by so many thoughtful and nice people who pick me up every single day. 

Like the other day, I had the girls in Goodwill, looking at shoes and Elizabeth was walking beside the cart.  Whenever she's walking, I talk to her constantly and try to engage her...otherwise, she runs sprints down the aisles.  You think I'm kidding...

Anyway, we were talking about the different shoes and then what we were going to have for lunch and how nice it was outside and Halloween...just stupid stuff...when a woman walked over from the next aisle and said, "I just have to tell you, you're a really good mom.  I've been listening to your all's conversation and I just think you're wonderful.  Oh, and what is princess soup?"  So after thanking her a million times and explaining how Campbell's makes chicken noodle soup with the Disney Princesses on the label and "princess shaped noodles" and how my daughters will not eat chicken noodle soup but will eat princess soup, I walked away feeling humbled.

It had been a rough morning and I was really just hoping to get through the store without an incident.  And because it had been a rough morning, I had been louder, crosser, harsher than usual.  I sure wasn't feeling like a great mom.  I needed her encouragement.  Funny how a stranger with a kind word can give you just what you need...

Had I given any strangers kind words that day?  Or had I been so wrapped up in myself to look beyond me...

The weather's getting colder for my pitching lessons and, looking at a past weekend, I was telling one of my parents about how I wasn't sure about pitching outside that Saturday.  He helps coach on their high school team and I have several kids that take from their area, so he offered to get me a double cage in their indoor facility...and line up my lessons.  And not just a couple lessons...more like close to ten.  

What was in it for him?  Nothing.  Know how fun it is to line up lessons?  Oh, about as fun as a root canal or labor pains.  Fitting people into time slots and hoping it works for everyone.  And he simply called me that Friday and said, you have ten lessons starting at this time...see you tomorrow! 

Who did I give up my time for today?  Funny how time doesn't "cost" much but boy, do we ever hoard it...

I could tell you a million of these.  How I got a random box in the mail with Scentsy items that totally made my day.  How I got another box with handmade toys for my girls at Easter.  How I have received checks for money we desperately needed out of the blue and calls when I was at my lowest.  

I'm not sure what you call that little voice inside your soul that guides you to do whatever you do.  You may refer to it as your moral compass or your Jimminy Cricket, but I believe it's the Holy Spirit guiding me in the direction I need to go.  And sometimes, He yells at me: Turn the car around and give that homeless man some money!!  Offer to carry that woman's groceries!  Tell that lady her dress is pretty.  NOW!  DO IT!!  

I pray for that voice to continue...and get louder so that there's nothing that I miss.  Keep me open and looking for people I can help.  I think that's a good prayer to ask daily...simply because it keeps you accountable and less focused on yourself and woah-is-me-ness.  And how dare I get caught up in the web of thinking maybe it will be one-sided and I might never get repaid and no one ever does anything nice for me but I do nice for others...that's the devil on my shoulder.  I have been given so much and have been so blessed.  I have wonderful, healthy kids, a warm house, plenty of food, a loving husband...how dare I look to man to provide blessings when I have been given so much from above.

Not to say that I'm not ever cautious.  As a stay at home mom, my door bell is always ringing with people asking for support or help.  And sometimes I buy boxes of cookies but others times, I feel everything in my soul yelling No!  Not for you...don't trust!  And I am quick to listen then as well.  

Maybe you would like to join me in this prayer.  I believe my life is much happier and healthier when I am looking for ways to help others rather than focusing on ways I want others to help me.  I have a wonderful accountability partner in Scott on this and we know that we are on the same page.  So whenever we come to each other with a desire to help someone - whether it be giving away something or donating money or giving our time...we never question the other...because we have been helped so much. 

Thank you for the opportunity to share this...as this, too, was being led by the Holy Spirit yelling Write!!    Good luck in your helping endeavors and please don't wait for a holiday or a specific "pay it forward" day to help others.  There are those in front of you right now!  Listen!!