Secrets to a Happy Marriage - Part 1

His and Her heating pads...behind the posing princess, of course.  Trust me, you don't know what you're missing.  :)

Our Clothes Horse

I remember being so excited the day Elizabeth figured out how to get herself dressed.  We had coached her up for months:  This arm in this hole, this arm in that one. See how the tag goes in the back?  Good job, honey!!

Now, no one warned me about the consequences of this momentous occasion.  Therefore, my fellow mothers / fathers / people who might one day be around small children, consider yourself warned.  You're in for a doozy of a ride here.  

Consequence 1: Once she figured out how to get herself dressed, she suddenly began caring about what she was wearing.  

Now, I am all about creativity, but the fact that my child went to church on Sunday in a purple dress and green tights and pink socks was totally her idea.  She didn't like the black pants...or the ruffle socks...and don't even get me started on the precious Christmas shirt I had bought her to wear.

I swear, she has cute and matching clothes.  The problem is, she refuses to wear any of them.  She won't touch jeans or sweaters or turtle necks.  She'll wear jumpers, but not the shirts that need to go under jumpers.  She likes leggings and dresses and shirts that have a ruffle at the bottom.  Oh, and if they have a character on them, that's a bonus.  And they have to be a pretty color.  

Which brings me to...

Consequence 2: She wants to wear clothing that is totally inappropriate for leaving the house.  

Right now, her obsession is shorts and t-shirts.  That's what she picks out.  The problem with that lies in the fact that it is currently the dead of winter.  This morning, she came down for breakfast dressed in her pink My Little Pony t-shirt and a tie-dyed skirt that she called her tu-tu.  She had purple and brown striped knee socks and was set for the day, in her brain.  

The fight that ensued when I forced her to change into long sleeves and long pants was catastrophic.  We had tears, thrown clothes and shoes and eventually, I ended up pinning her between my knees and her little brother (the 26-week pregnant kind) to force the clothes on her.

Eventually, she calmed down and we went downstairs and proceeded with the getting ready to leave the house process.  I had the bags packed, sippies poured, jackets out and suddenly, I didn't see her.  

"Elizabeth?"

"Upstairs, Mom...I'm just getting dressed..."

(Which leads into...)

Consequence 3: She changes her clothes 50 million times a day.  

I ran upstairs to try to catch her before the damage was done, but it was too late.  There stood my 3-year-old with no shirt on, pulling back on her "tu-tu."  World War 26 erupted and we finally got our long sleeves and long pants back on and was out the door in 20 minutes.  

Picking her up from the Y, she was happy and in a good mood.  I asked her about her time there and she told me about the crafts she made and the picture she colored and the new little girl she played with.  Then she let me know that as soon as we got home, she was going to change.

But of course she was.

As I write this, I can see our entrance way.  Scattered not five feet from the door are her shoes, socks, pants and long sleeve shirt.  Within seconds of stripping, she had reappeared in the My Little Pony shirt and tie-dyed tu-tu.

The girls had asked for Dora soup for lunch (similar to Princess soup but with Dora noodles...thank you Campbells), which is not a clean-eating process (literally) and after the first drip landed on her shirt, Elizabeth jumped down and stripped naked to finish the rest of the bowl.  

Upon completion, she ran upstairs and came back down in a pink leotard and two mismatched striped socks - one pink and one purple.   Scott surprised us all by coming home for lunch and picked her up, spun her around, and asked why her socks didn't match.  "Because I couldn't find the other ones,"  she answered in her mater-of-fact voice.

Consequence 4:  Your child will now have a tornado of a room as she hunts for what exactly she wants to wear. 

Yesterday, Scott asked me why there were three leotards in our bedroom upstairs when he got home from work.  They were haphazardly thrown around as if someone was looking for something.  I told him that it was probably because his oldest was hunting for her swimsuit.

Which I had hidden...

Up high...

In her closet...

Here was a normal breakfast in Vegas with her swimsuit, tiara, and Hello Kitty necklace on. 

For our Vegas trip, I had stupidly packed the swimsuits - you know, just in case it was warm enough to get in the hot tub or go for a swim in the indoor pool.  The first morning, Elizabeth was overjoyed to find it, as she flung the rest of her clothes out of the suitcase, and claimed it as her dress up outfit of choice for the 5 days we were there.  (I didn't let her bring any princess dresses with her - packing room was tight!)

Now, three things about this swimsuit...it is a little one-piece with a ruffle skirt that qualifies it as a "ballerina,"  it has Tinkerbell on it, and it's just a tiny bit too small for my daughter.

So after wearing it for a couple hours, she would begin tugging at the bottom...which is something you never want to see your little girl doing...so I had to confiscate it about a million times and then deal with my crying child.  As soon as we got home, it was put far far away in the depths of the closet.

Consequence 5:  You become made to do laundry.

This really doesn't tie into the rest of the story except that I have a huge pile staring at me right beside the desk and I can see that over half of it is Elizabeth's.  I swear, we just had everything in the house clean on Sunday...  Isn't this such a mom statement?  "Do you think I was made to do laundry??"

Thankfully, Rachel hasn't joined the ranks of her older sister just yet, although she's starting to.  She already lets me know when she hates an outfit that I pick out - although she's a little easier to pin down and force into something.  I'm sure these aren't the consequences in every house and maybe your little angels get dressed willingly in matching outfits and keep them on all day and look perfect...but somehow (especially if you've been following my madness on purpose), I doubt it.  

Got any tales to tell?

I better go check on my child now.  Currently, she is watching the Cat in the Hat in my bedroom...naked...

*sigh.*

Distractions

Nothing like the holidays to spur a post on distractions.  It seems like these days, everyone and everything is pulling at me:  cards to address, cookies to make, presents to purchase and wrap, and...oh yeah...then there are the everyday chores with my kids and household.

The holidays also offer up the perfect stirring in our souls to do good for others - whether that's volunteering, writing a note, sending a gift or simply making a phone call.  But do you ever find yourself on the way to do the very good deed that's been on your mind when...

the phone rings...

your child has a dirty diaper...

the toilet overflows...

the doorbell rings...

you just check Facebook real quick...

Distractions.

And after you get done with whatever the distracting task was, you've suddenly lost your motivation to do the good deed or whatever positive thing you set out to do in the first place.  Does this just happen to me?  

I'm guessing probably not.

I believe that the devil uses every opportunity to distract us from being good and he must hate Christmas time the most because almost everyone walks around with joy in their heart and good will towards most men...

And so he distracts.  Need an example?  Of course you do.  And you want to hear about my children, I'm sure.

We got in from Las Vegas yesterday - which ends up being a two hour time difference.  I am not ready to write about how horrific the flight home was with cranky, exhausted Rachel...but let me just tell you, it was bad.

So last night, Scott and I were more than thankful to put down our vacationed-out little girls by 8 p.m. and sit back and watch something mindless like National Lampoon's Christmas and relax on the couch for a bit.

We didn't complain when they slept past 8 a.m. this morning, pouring large cups of coffee to greet the day.  Rachel woke up in a foul mood and, because we attend the early church service, I think we probably both knew without talking about it that we wouldn't make it to church this morning.

And then Elizabeth came down the stairs.

"Are we going to church?  I need to go to church!  I need to see Piper!"

Piper is Elizabeth's best friend and they are in the same Sunday school class.  Piper's family and ours are perfect bookends and we do a lot of functions together - as the kids take off playing well together and the adults get along and can have a moment's peace and socialization.  

I looked at the clock.  It was 8:20 a.m.  Church started at 9:15 a.m.  

I tried rationalizing with the three-year-old.

"Honey, we slept too late to go to church.  Rachel is cranky and your daddy has a cold (stupid airplane petri dish).  We're not going to go to church today."

"Nooooooooooo!!"  she yelled.  "We have to go!  You said!  I need to see Piper!"

Ok, I DID tell her the night before that we'd go to church this morning...but I didn't count on so many...distractions.

I looked at Scott and he emptied his coffee cup in a couple gulps.  "Ok,"  he said.  "Who wants Cheerios?"

Now, I wish I could tell you that this was the only hurdle we faced all morning in going to church.  But even though our child was ready, she wasn't necessarily willing eat quickly and get dressed or brush her teeth or hustle through the process.  Oh, and Rachel wasn't quick to get out of her foul mood.  Naturally.

But 9:10 a.m. found us dressed and in the car, pulling out of our driveway.  I prayed the whole way that Piper would be there and indeed she was, and was thrilled to see our daughter walk through the Sunday School door.  

That could have been ugly.

Scott and I walked as if hungover to the sanctuary, still dealing with the whirlwind the last hour threw at us.  We had battled the distractions and just as we were empty with exhaustion from a trip and not feeling good and the stress of rushing two toddlers to get ready, we were filled with such a strong, powerful message from our preacher that the events of the morning washed away.

You know the messages that seem just aimed at you?  The ones that hit home and keep your attention?  This was one of those:  full of the message of John, the story of the birth of our savior,  and even with a quote from Ricky Bobby about little baby Jesus.  

Ah yes, this was one the devil really didn't want us to hear.  Like a pep talk before a big game, we both found ourselves ready for the busy week ahead and, more importantly, ready to face our children again.

The time ended up being positive for them as well and we retrieved them from their classes to find them them happy as well and we had a great rest of the day.  But how easy would it have been to just stay home?  To have let the distractions take over our day and missed out on something truly positive and important in our lives?  

Seriously, no one would have blamed us.  We would have had a great excuse.  But we would have missed out on so much.

So let me ask you, my friend:  What are your distractions?  What are the good deeds that you know you need to do...that you should do?  Maybe you have an idea and you just haven't been able to pull the trigger.  

Pull it today.  

Make the phone call.  Bake the cookies and take them to the workers at the nursery.  Buy an extra present and donate it to a family who needs it.  Buy a cup of coffee for that Salvation Army worker, ringing the bell in front of the store.  

Today, I was behind a woman with a overflowing cart in Aldi.  She had food, diapers, toys...the whole kitchen sink.  The line was long, so I was able to overhear her talking about how it was all going to a needy family.  She looked to be in her early 30's and had a young teenager helping her.  They talked about how excited the family would be.

I wonder what distractions she battled in getting there...

What is distracting you?  And if you're not sure, pray and ask...  We are promised to be provided wisdom in James and I can't help but think that this would apply.

I guarantee you the reward is great - even if you get nothing in return.  You will receive plenty of recognition - even if you don't tell anyone.  And you will inspire other people to get over their distractions and do good for others as well. 

And that, my friends, is a priceless Christmas present for sure. 

Have a wonderful week!

The Library and Hug Hug

This post happened in January, earlier this year.  Thankfully, I never have to return to this library since we moved and so far, I have no record at the new library. 

On the final moving day, I had a bag full of books and a couple movies in the front seat to return.  I didn't have the girls with me so I thought it would be a pleasant good-bye process - a simple drop in the hopper.

20 minutes after dropping off the goods, my phone rang.

"Mrs. So-and-so...this is the library.  You returned your movie boxes...with no movies."

They were still in the DVD player...I mailed it.

Enjoy the tale!

So I wasn't planning on writing about this particular adventure to the library until my best friend found it so humorous to concoct a picture in that creative, graphic-design brain of hers and send it to me in an email.  Amanda always seems to call when I'm leaving the library and gets the brunt of my frustration - which she finds hilarious.  Not wanting her work to be in vain here, please, let me explain...

It all started with the Wiggles book.  We lost it.  I mean, I have no clue where it is.  We've offered rewards.  We've had contests to search my house.  It's gone.  Scott thinks our friend Chris took it home with her after her visit when Rachel was born - since she had to read it to Elizabeth exactly 765 time, but of course, she denies any foul play.

I had to pay $14 to the library and the receipt is good for a year if it turns up.  It hasn't.

Since then, I've been late about a million times and have racked up enough overdue fines to pay one of their librarians salary - which you can only do when you check out 30 little kid books at a time and forget which day they're due back.  So I've had to develop quite the organizational system - counting the books we bring home and writing the number on the day on the calendar that they're due back.  

We use the Mickey Mouse bag as our library bag and I keep the receipt for the books in there - to double check my number on the calendar.  And we plan the trip to the library days in advance, which helps with my coaching Elizabeth on her behavior.  (Talks sort of sound like a scene out of Turner and Hooch.)

"You will not run or pull off books or yell or scream or cry or lie down on the ground at the library.  You will not run from Mommy or beg for the Wiggles DVD or cry when Mommy wants to grab a Joyce Meyer book, or a cookbook and child rearing book on the run."

I've tried driving by and returning the books in the hopper...which never works.  The girls know when we're supposed to go inside and I have a holy fit in the backseat if I take a step towards the building without them. 

So you can imagine my horror as we drove up to the parking lot last week and it suddenly dawned on me that it was Martin Luther King Day.  *Groan.* "Honey...the library is closed.  See, there are no cars there."

"Mama! Library!  Push the button!"  (She gets to push the handicap button that opens the main door...it's a pretty big deal.) 

"Honey, we can't push the button...it's closed.  Mama's so sorry...the library is closed...we can't go today."

I turn around in the parking lot and my children scream all the way home.

Awesome.

So Tuesday comes and I still have all the books in the Mickey bag in the front seat...counted...  That's how I knew that Hug Hug was in there.

We go through the library and my children are actually great.  Elizabeth found a princess book she was thrilled about and wouldn't let out of her grubby mitts.  Rachel was gnawing on a string on my sweatshirt and was happy for a moment.  I should have known I was pressing my luck. 

I put the books on the counter and gave the lady my card.

"You have a book out," she said.

"I do?  Which one?"

"Hug hug," she answered.

"Oh no," I said, relieved over the simple misunderstanding.  "I just put the books in the hopper.  It's in there.  I counted all the books."

She looked at me, unsympathetically, and said, "Riiigght,"  while looking at the computer screen.  In front of her, I know, was my library rap sheet:   Annie-crazy woman, address, two bad kids, a million dollars in late fines and loser of the Wiggles book.

She looked up.  "I actually just checked all those books in and it wasn't in there."

Elizabeth started fussing...the princess book was on the counter.

"I'm sure it was in there," I said.  "I double-checked all the books.  I have a system now."

She gave me a sure you do look and said, "Ok, I'll go look again."

As she went in the back, an old lady came up and told me how adorable my kids were while, at the same time, lecturing me on Rachel not wearing socks.  I told her that I was sure she was wearing socks when we left the house and somehow they got lost, while I'm thinking, "Please don't call DSS...I put socks on my kids."

Elizabeth:  "Mama?  Princess...?"

The librarian comes back.  "It wasn't back there.  Do you remember what it looks like?"

"Yes," I said.  "It's a little square board book.  I know it was in there."

"Well, I'll go look in the board book section for it."

Now I started to get peeved and so was Elizabeth.  Rachel was no longer pleased with the string.  I'm sure her feet were cold. 

Now, the board books are in the real little kids section of the library and to say it is the least big straight is a lie.  There is no organization and is one jumble of toys and books and mats.  It's awesome, really...but there's no hope in finding a singular book.

She comes back empty handed. 

"It wasn't over there," said Captain Obvious.

"I know, I just turned it in...with the rest of my books,"  I repeated.

"Well, I don't see it and I can't check out any more books for you until you turn it in."

This is the point that I begin to snap...in the public library.  "You're kidding right?"  Elizabeth started wailing for the princess book.  "I'm sure it just fell out in the car or something.  Can't you just check it out again for me?'

"We're really not supposed to do that ma'am," she explained. Plus you have a record, I know she thought.

So I stood there with my two now-crying children and my 30 non-checked out books on the counter and weigh my options.  I could leave with no books and a hysterical Elizabeth.  I could go out to the car and attempt to look for Hug Hug with a hysterical Elizabeth and a wiggling Rachel.  Or I could try to strong arm the librarian.

Option 3... I gave her the silent stare.

Scott coined this method of just looking at someone without talking until they decide to give you what you want.  Lucky for me, she broke quickly.  Seriously, like I had just done a Jedi mind-trick or something.

"Ok, I'll just recheck Hug Hug out for you just this once," she said.

Perfect.  "Oh thank you so much.  I will look in the car for it.  I'm sure it's just right there."

She gritted her teeth through her smile.  "Oh, I'm sure it is."

Elizabeth dries up as soon as the princess book hits her paws and I led my circus out the front doors.  Elizabeth hit the handicapped button and I'm sure all eyes were on us as we left.

Stupid Hug Hug.

Nursing one with two...

June 6, 2010 - from The Good Life family blog I kept at the time.  This would have made Rachel a little over three months old and I had just started the process of writing to attempt to regain my sanity of being at home with two little ones.  I love looking back at the old pictures and recalling the things Elizabeth used to do.  It's also funny to think that Rachel is almost as old now as Elizabeth was then.

Anyway, enjoy the story...


Can I write about breastfeeding on this thing?  I'm going to give it a go because, let me tell you, nursing is no picnic with a 22-month-old running around.  I've been very fortunate with both girls and never really had any problems feeding.  In fact, Rachel came out of the womb hungry and has never denied an offer at a meal, unless of course, it came from a bottle.

There were many things I was prepared for since this was my second child...the lovely mouthful of milk pouring down my side when she falls asleep, the wanting to talk when mommy is talking, the process of always walking around with a burp cloth...

What I was not prepared for was my oldest.

Elizabeth really has shown no jealously except for when I go to feed Rachel.  Then, she wants in the middle of everything.  She always asks to get up when I have the baby...although in her defense, that is really the only time I'm sitting down.

It didn't take her long to realize that I am incapacitated when I'm in the rocker and she can use it to her advantage.  Let's take this morning, for instance.

She began the process by climbing on the footstool of the glider and putting all her weight on the Boppy.  Why yes, you DO know this routine!  That is the nifty little pillow that is actually holding the baby.  She then pushed her head into Rachel's butt and made loud kissing noises.  "Mmmmm-ah!" 

From there, she sprinted down the hallway, only to come out of her room with the window screen that I had been attempting to hide behind the changing table.  How she found it, I have no idea, but she threw it on the ground and laid herself on top of it, smashing her face into all the little bug gut particles which I'm sure are all over the thing.   

Gross! Gross!  Gross!  Feeding time now officially over, Rachel went back to the bouncer.

During the next feeding, I decided to switch gears and try the couch, which would allow her to sit beside me.  A novel idea except this also limited my vision.  Elizabeth came in, noticed that I'm nursing Rachel, and promptly marched into the kitchen and grabbed all of my clean dishrags out of the basket (literally, there might have been 10 in her arms).

Mommy's helper then disappeared around the corner of the kitchen and 15 seconds later, I hear the washer door slam and she was pushing buttons.  Snack over:  Rachel goes back in the bouncer.

Who knew she could figure out the wash settings and I set the washer to spin out my now-soaked dishrags and sat back down.

Elizabeth retreated down the hallway.

Her next appearance came by way of the office, and she was carrying every piece of paper that WAS FORMERLY in the printer and proceeded to wad them all up and throw them away.   That didn't get me to put the baby down so she went back to the Boppy climbing tactics.

When I fussed at her for stepping on my feet with her shoes on, she ran in the room, retrieved my flip flops and brought them back as if to say, "Well woman, if you would put some shoes on, my weight wouldn't hurt them so much."

Except, instead of putting them on my feet, she put them in her mouth.

Winner!  Back to the bouncer for Rachel.

I swear, this is all before 9 a.m. and Rachel was now snotty and adamant that she was starving.  I gave up trying to suck the snot out, with her wrenching her head around and Elizabeth pushing her big noggin into my side (we were still on the couch) so we went back to eating.

Now my oldest decided to drag every toy she owned into the living room, along with all the clean clothes out of the laundry basket.  She went to the window and played with the blinds she had already broken on a previous occasion.  She climbed on top of her rocking horse, rocked as strong as she could and then stood up in the saddle...all the while, looking at me for a response.

I stayed silent, determined to get my baby fed and to sleep so I could have just a few moments of sanity.

Just as defeat closed in, my dear, sweet child decided to throw out her trump card...

"Poo-poo...," she said, reaching into her diaper...

Bingo!  Back to the bouncer for Rachel. 

The week ahead...

Very soon, we head to Vegas, baby.  Part of Scott's family lives out there so we make this trek about once a year, if we can, and the day is fast approaching

Which means that this week, I shall run around like a crazy chicken...with Monday being a typical Monday and being crazier than ever.  And like any day that you wake up with a renewed spirit, ready to tackle your to-do list, my children have caught wind of it and have decided to be especially challenging.  Like take all your clothes off and run around the house in just socks, screaming Mickey Mouse songs challenging.

So far, they've lost TV and the McDonalds treat they always get after gymnastics for not listening and being disagreeable and just plain hard-to-get-along with in general.

Seriously, who am I trying to punish here?? 

So I am facing a week slammed with packing suitcases and cleaning bathrooms (am I the only one who can't go out of town without cleaning her house??  Yet another curse handed down from my mother...) and taking books back to the library and trying to get a quick run in at the Y...shew!

Therefore, I've decided to share some of my favorite older posts with you this week from my former family blog, The Good Life.  At some point, I'll make a little button for it up at the top with those others so you can check more out.  

**Writing was paused as my sweet little children each walked in the kitchen with a handful of Christmas ornaments swiped off the tree.  We now have three ornaments at their level.  The rest take up the top half of the tree.  Also, did I mention it's also raining??  IT'S RAINING!**

I started The Good Life blog after we moved to Tennessee and it was a way to share pictures of Elizabeth, who had just turned a year old, with our friends and family.  Pictures turned into stories and then Rachel joined us and pretty soon, I morphed the whole thing into Mama Wants... But I haven't posted any of the old stories from The Good Life.  

So enjoy the repeats for some of you and the back story of this whole adventure for others and we'll see you on the flip side.  Have a great week!

A few things of note...

Today is one of those rare days that I have a lot to do and plenty of energy to do it.  So time in front of the computer will officially be limited...but there are a few things of note that I must share with you first:

 -- I ran two days in a row this week.  Now, I'm not setting any records here, but this is quite an accomplishment for this particular big, pregnant woman.  I went 20 minutes both days and my top speed was 5.5.  Before I got pregnant, my beginning speed was 6.0...but I'm not complaining.

 -- My big girl got her first hair cut yesterday.

 -- Our baby boy is 1 lb, 6 oz per his ultrasound yesterday.  He was such a busy body that the technician could barely get all the measurements she needed to...again...  He should fit right into this household.

 -- Speaking of our baby boy, Scott came up with a new name possibility after we watched Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer the other night...Yukon Cornelius Shipman...  *sigh*  But seriously, is anyone else loving the awesome family movies that are on every night?  I think we're going to get early baths and have a movie and popcorn night with the Grinch tonight.

-- The weather has turned cold here in middle TN.  This requires pulling out the big girl coats.

I swear, there's a little girl in there somewhere...

Ah!  There she is!

Ok, I'm outta here, folks!  Have a great weekend!!